If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
