David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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