i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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