ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
how does that bad decision feel?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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