I am in a vortex of obligation.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
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