Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
