Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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