is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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