So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
