New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
