if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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