Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
