I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
