I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
