I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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