I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Randomize
