batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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