Whod you bang
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
