So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
