True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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