he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I will be naked everywhere
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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