please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
