was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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