he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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