i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
