I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
