There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
