I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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