he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
