I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
ugly people sure do ruin things
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
