Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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