Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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