yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
