Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
