she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
There r osticjed everywhere
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
