"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
this just has baby written all over it
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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