how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
