I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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