So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
