I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
