i permit you to call me
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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