so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize