So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
