And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
