I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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