I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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