he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize