have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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