Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Pooping to opera.
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