I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
