dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
