this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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