If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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