I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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