it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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