new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
