oh god the rape fog is back!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
