I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
