I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
