drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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