did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
