Only a mothe r could love this liver
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
