I'm drive I can fine osifer
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
