mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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