On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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