There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Two words: nipple clamps
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