That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
