why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
