Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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