I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
