Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
