Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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