question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
