quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
