I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
