Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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