No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
