You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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